Unbreakable
by Sanathia
Summary: Toki and Nathan fell in love with each other years ago, but can Toki break down his impenetrable walls and get him to admit it? Dethklok slash Toki/Nathan
1. Thief

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Toki Wartooth, Pickles the Drummer, Nathan Explosion, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, or William Murderface. They belong to Metalocalypse and thus Brendon Small. I never claimed to own them so please don't sue me. The events in the below story are never part of the show.**_

___**Warning: M/M slash. Toki/Nathan. Gets very slashy in some places. Also, drug and alcohol references and profanity. Rated M.**_

As Nathan Explosion felt himself begin to doze off blissfully, the sound of Skwisgaar Skwigelf's infamous incorrect grammar and somewhat nasally voice woke him again. Although the couch was comfortable enough, he found himself walking aimlessly amongst the darkened corridors of Mordhaus which held their own strange voices; and that was on top of Skwisgaar's already loud one. From what Nathan could decipher, Skwisgaar was yelling at Toki about guitars or solos, although he couldn't be sure because they continued to drift in and out of their native languages.

"You ams dildo-lickers!" Skwisgaar accused. "Can'ts ams not steals my solos!"

"Nots stealings it," Nathan heard Toki reply in a whimper. "Pracsticings it, ja?"

"Whys you gots to be ams pracsticings things you ams nots…is nots playings?" he asked smugly.

"I don'ts…" Toki faltered for a moment before finishing his phrase. "I don'ts knows. Please be leavings now!"

"Happily," Skwisgaar snapped before charging out of the room and right into Nathan. "Kicks that damns kids outs the bands, Na'tans."

Nathan shook his head and watched the jealous lead guitarist storm down the hall that Nathan had just come from. He waited uncomfortably outside of Toki's bedroom door for a few minutes, simply listening to the angry sobs of what he felt to be his little brother. After a few minutes, Toki's choked sobs turned into the music of angels:

"_Cries alones, I've gones away…no more nights, no more pains. I've gones alones, tooks all my strengths…I've mades the change…I won't sees you tonights…"_

Nathan paused and listened to the tortured lyrics ringing out clearly throughout his ears. How lonely, how pained Toki's words sounded! To the singer's cold heart, those words were so sad that they approached brutality. Nathan raised his fist to knock at the door, but Toki immediately started into another bout of angst-filled lyrics.

_"Sorrow sanks deeps insides my bloods…all the ones around me, I cared for and most of alls I loved! But I can't sees myself that ways…please don't forgets me or cries while I'm aways!"_

"Toki," Nathan interrupted, barging into the boyish room. When he saw what Toki was doing, he sheepishly back away. The little Norwegian was curled in the fetal position spilling tears into the fabric of his tiny teddy bear…in nothing but a tight fitting _Explode Me _shirt typically worn by Nathan's fangirls and his underwear. "Uh, what are you doing?"

Toki curled himself over and faced the lead singer confidently, not at all ashamed by his attire. "Oh, hi Na'tans."

"What are you doing?" he repeated cautiously.

"Thinkings…singings. Nothings really."

"Those were some…_brutal _lyrics you just, uh, sang."

"Nots mine," Toki admitted with a shrug, sitting up and looking Nathan right in the eye. "I steals them, I guess. Nots the first times I…steals things…"

"Don't tell me you're talking about the damn guitar solo with Skwisgaar." When Toki didn't answer, Nathan knew that was a yes. He went over and sat next to his little brother and smiled gently at him. He leaned back against the surprisingly small bed.

"I don'ts thinks I'll bes pracsticings no mores." He sniffed sadly.

"Hey, Toki," Nathan said, attempting to change the subject. "Why don't you sing me a few more of those metal lyrics."

"Okays…anythings for you." Toki looked up at him admiringly. _"It's buildings up insides of me, a place so dark, so colds, I had to sets me free. Don't mourns for me, you're nots the ones to place the blames…as bottles call my names, I won't sees you tonights…" _Nathan felt himself swaying to the high tenor of Toki's ringing vocals. _If it weren't for his grammar, _he found himself thinking, _he'd make a great back-up singer…_

No. That would be ridiculous. It was the whole thing _of _his language skills. A responsible frontman couldn't let his feelings rule him. Toki could be a back-up singer no more than he could be the lead guitarist. Certain things prevented that from happening. Besides, Pickles had a nice alto voice for background lyrics anyway.

Something Toki had that Pickles never would, though, was his appeal. He was so childish, so innocent and so…_not _brutal. There wasn't a brutal bone in his body. If there was, Nathan sure hadn't seen it yet. It was threatening to their success, but as vital as Murderface's depressing cynicism and self-loathing. Without that crucial aspect, Nathan knew he couldn't lead the band.

"What's you thinkings, Na'tans?" Toki asked, his pale blue eyes piercing like icicles into the singer's psyche. No, not like icicles. Like icy spears that Eskimos would use to defend their territory.

"This whole Duncan Hills thing is stressing me out," Nathan lied with a groan, massaging his temples gently. "I don't have a clue how to pull this, uh, campaign off. It's coffee. Not too metal."

"Well, unless you pours it ons someones," Toki suggested, his icy eyes shining with glee as the thought of scalding skin filled his mind. Maybe there _was _a brutal side to that kid.

"That's brutal," Nathan agreed, allowing the images of skin melting off of the fans' faces fill his head. "Yeah…yeah…we should do that." He didn't even notice Toki stare at a large patch of scar tissue on his upper leg. Instead, he was thinking about how they could get a vat of coffee, and how they could pour it over the concert to maim so many fans.

Toki started to stand and pulled his shirt off gingerly. "Wait, wait," Nathan argued, pulling him back to the floor. The guitarist dropped his arms and the shirt fell back over his torso. "Gotta ask…where'd you get that shirt?"

"Um," Toki bit his lip. "Well, I founds it ons the floors in your rooms. Ands I kinds of –"

"What? Why were you in my room?" Nathan snarled, standing angrily. Toki peered up at him sheepishly from under his light-colored eyelashes.

"I thoughts I heards you calls me ins there…"

"From my _bedroom?"_

"Ja, well, Skwisgaar call me from ins there lots." Toki's jaw dropped. "Nots likes that! He makes me go gets his cigarettes and stuffs."

"You know what? I don't care. I have an album to make." And with that, Nathan left, still somewhat peeved about the whole shirt thing

[]

Toki picked a fuzz from his beloved shirt. It still smelled like Nathan from when he'd leaned on him earlier. It smelled his alcohol and soap, eau de Nathan. Why hadn't he brought himself to plead with the words that had plagued his heart for so long? He had perfect opportunity to spit out those simple words "I love you," yet somehow he'd chickened out again. At this rate, the band will be broken up before he could bring himself to say it.

Yet, it hadn't felt like the perfect time. He wanted to tell him when he wasn't so embarrassed, when his shirt wasn't bathed in sweat and tears. It would take a lot to penetrate Nathan's unbreakable barrier, but Toki was determined to break down those walls and find the sensitive soul beneath. He knew he could do it, but he still wasn't sure when.

Toki removed his shirt gingerly, not wanting to stretch it out or rip it. That shirt was the little remnant of Nathan's fandom. If he got rid of that, he'd have nothing to remind him of his beloved crush except Nathan himself. And what good was that when he couldn't even bring himself to admit the most dire feeling in his heart?

**A/N**

**The song mentioned is indeed _I Won't See You Tonight Pt. 1 _by one of my favorite bands, Avenged Sevenfold. I figured it was worth mentioning so I don't get nailed for not giving credit. I clearly didn't write those beautiful tragic words, so let's give that to the band. Anyway, this is the new story. Hope you enjoy it as much as I am :D**


	2. The Contract

Sparkling frost patterns spread themselves across the scarce windows of Mordhaus, a sign of the approaching winter. Nathan's jaw dropped as his finger traced them gently. He hadn't seen this growing up, in fact the cold never really existed to him in his childhood. The mellow heat of the sun had filled his pores with a strange sensation of heat and an almost drunkenness. Nathan winced as his mind divulged further into the depths of his blackened mind.

"Freak," they'd all called him as he pulled a thin layer of dark hair in front of his eyes. Stringy locks seemed as though his only protection against the constant torment they threw at him. He never spoke to them though. No, he never even returned their glassy stares. Nathan could've easily gone his whole life without acknowledging their existence, if that had been allowed.

"Dude, ya listenin'?" interrupted Pickles. He'd burst into Nathan's room sometime amidst his daydream and was waving a sheet of paper in his hand. "I said we gatta new cantract, Afdensen wrote it up just this mornin'."

"Why the fuck do we need a new, uh, contract?" Nathan pushed a few black tresses behind his ear as he examined the papers thoroughly. There were too many big words; he couldn't understand half of it.

"Don't know. Said somethin' bout Duncan Hills shit."

Nathan sighed and continued reading. _I, __(sign name here)__ do hereby sign this fully legal contract and with it agree to follow the terms as such. _Ofdensen and his CFO mumbo-jumbo. None of those words meant anything to him except "sign name here," which he did so willingly. Dethklok was his life now.

The same final line was repeated four other times; Pickles and Nathan filed out to the breakfast table to find Toki, Skwisgaar, and Murderface. None were present. Instead, they were doing various tasks in the living room; Murderface consistently stabbed the arm of the couch with his faithful knife in a set rhythm while watching the gymnast competition on the television. Toki and Skwisgaar were arguing softly in the far corner of the room, Skwisgaar's guitar swinging violently around his shoulder with his obnoxious hand gestures. Toki seemed to shrink down lower and lower as the tall blonde stacked the odds against him.

"Hey dudes, wake up and smell da cantract!" Pickles grinned sarcastically. Murderface began cussing him out bitterly, while Toki and Skwisgaar completely ignored him, choosing instead to continue their disagreement.

"I'ms just sayings," ended Skwisgaar, coming around in English, "that you don'ts needs to be playings my solos. I writeds it myselves, thanks you very lots! You can'ts steals it!"

"I'ms nots stealings," harrumphed Toki at Skwisgaar, who was already halfway across the room signing the contract.

"This ams dildos contracts!" exclaimed Skwisgaar, staring down at the white piece of paper in disgust. "I'ms not the givings my lives to Dethklok!"

"Ya gatta, dude," reasoned Pickles. "Otherwise, we gatta find a new guitarist, and yer da best. Can't do no better den dat."

"I coulds be as goods as hims!" stated Toki with an angry yell. Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose gently. When he looked up, he noticed Ofdensen in the doorway mirroring the action.

"Guys, guys," said Ofdensen, waving his hands at them at an attempt to calm the band down. "Giving your life to Dethklok isn't as bad as it sounds. I promise."

"What's it means, then?" asked Skwisgaar, still scowling at Toki.

"Yeah, man, I'm curious it means too," repeated Pickles in his characteristic accent.

"Actually, I agrees with thems, what's it meanings?" Toki walked up to join the rest of the band in their curiosity. Murderface hung back aways and simply glared at the paper with his arms crossed. Nathan didn't say anything; he'd already signed the contract, so he couldn't go back on it no matter what it said.

"Basically, it means that…you _are_ Dethklok." Ofdensen shook his head. "I mean, you already know that, but it's saying that…your lives determine the fate of Dethklok, the twelfth largest economy _in the whole world." _

None of the words meant anything to the band, they simply shrugged and signed, happy enough with the status of "being in Dethklok."

After Ofdensen left, the living room returned to its normal state; Murderface resumed his mutilation to the arm of the couch, Skwisgaar cranked out a long drawn-out solo, Pickles laid out a spread of several types of alcohol for taste-testing. Toki simply slunk off to his room. Nathan waited a few minutes, then inconspicuously followed and knocked gently at the door.

"Come ins, unless you ams Skwisgaar. Then, gets the hells aways from me." Toki seemed grimly calm, not at all like the sobbing voice Nathan was expecting to hear. Nathan opened the creaky door and slipped in, staring down at the little Norwegian – who didn't seem nearly as little with his shirt off and muscles clearly exposed.

"Are you…uh, are you okay?" Nathan felt extremely awkward, with Toki sitting half-naked on the floor and clearly not embarrassed in the slightest. He certainly _seemed _okay.

"No," Toki stated flatly, still not looking at the singer. "Honestly, I'ms not fines at alls."

"Oh that's…well, uh, that's brutal. What's up then?"

Toki sniffed. "I hates it here. I hates it here so fuckings much, buts I can'ts leaves! I can'ts never leaves, 'cause I can'ts do nothings else with my lifes. I'ms a screw-ups. I'ms only second-bests guitarists, second to Skwisgaar, that sons of bitches. I hates him."

"Woah, slow down, Toki." Nathan shook his head clear of the fog that Toki's words had caused. "You hate the band?"

"Wells…no." Toki bit his lip and considered momentarily. "There ams things I likes." The little Norwegian stood and looked up at the frontman with a delicate smile.

"You like the money," Nathan continued obliviously.

"Na'tans…I likes somethings more thans the money…I likes you!"

Nathan looked down at Toki, caramel-colored hair hanging loosely over his shoulder. His bright blue eyes shined innocently up at Nathan's contrasting green with a glimmer. "Damn it Toki…I love you. I fucking love you, man." Nathan turned and faced the opposite wall, not daring to look him in the face. "But you're like my brother…the brother I, uh, never had. And I'm not…well I'm not…"

"Nots?" asked Toki expectantly, staring down at his boots self-consciously.

"Not…gonna do this now. I gotta go…gotta sort through some things…"

"Waits, Na'tans." Toki pressed a firm hand to Nathan's shoulder. "Waits. You gots to knows…I'ms nots gay."

"Wait, what?" Nathan turned back around and stared down at the nonchalant rhythm guitarist. "Not gay? But you just…"

"Ja? I just what's?" Toki smiled. "I likes you, loves you evens. But I likes the girls. You ams just an exclusive deals."

Nathan felt…strange. Almost used, like a play toy. His heart ached for Toki to take it all back and have the innocent love he once thought them to share. But Toki didn't, he merely opened his door and grinned invitingly. "Goodbyes," he finished, practically pushing Nathan out of the door.

What was that? Nathan scratched his neck confusedly. Was that a display of love? Or a display of lust? The frontman had no idea what to say or how to react to Toki's outburst other than to join Pickles in his getting drunk and high, hoping to erase the strange afternoon from his memory.


	3. Writing

"Snowings," Toki murmured wistfully, placing a tender hand against the chilly window gently. He had no idea what he feeling; it all conflicted, leaving him numb. The snow was wispy and watery, not at all like the icy slates that often befell him back in Norway. He forcibly pulled himself from the window and placed his thoughts at the several pictures of his family on the wall. One of them was of his father, Reverend Aslaug. Toki was told to never call him "Father" and instead refer to him as "Reverend." There was punishment to not following this order, just like the punishment of every other broken rule.

Inevitably, his thoughts led back to Nathan. He was sure that it was love he felt towards the large man, undeniable love that had nothing but grown through their time together. But when Nathan came to him and seemed to confess his own feelings, the Norwegian suddenly felt as though it was lustiness he felt, not love. After all, he wasn't gay. He'd never been gay. Why did he have such feelings towards another man?

It was all Toki could think to do; he _had _to write a letter to Nathan, express the feelings he couldn't say aloud. His writing, compared to his speaking, was near perfect.

_Nathan,_

_ I don't know why I'm writing. Maybe I just need someone to talk to, maybe I need a friend. But Dethklok has never provided me with one, so you're the closest I have. The truth is, I want – no need – to tell you what's on my mind about you. I have so many mixed feelings, I'm not even sure what to write…but here goes:_

_ I wasn't lying when I told you yesterday that I wasn't gay. Usually, I can't even see anything attractive about another man. It's under strange conditions that I find myself so drawn to you. It's indescribable, unbreakable even. I've felt this way for two years, since Dethklok began what seems so long ago. When I first saw you, I felt my heart race. Every part of me was pure static electricity. Eventually it became that only through you could I be calmed. Skwisgaar am so horrible to me. He thinks I don't see him spit in my food or break my guitar strings but I see it all. It makes me feel so isolated, so cold. You seem to be the only one who understands me._

_ But…love turns to lust so quickly in this dying world. Over the last few days, I noticed that instead of admiring your talents and personality like I used to, I began be attracted to your scent, your body. That old electric feeling came back. That's why when we last spoke, you seemed to be nothing to me._

_ I can't hide that desire. I am a creature of lust, it seems. But, Nathan, I promise I can move past that if you can love me. If you give me all the love in your heart. That's all I'm asking for. Please, please, for my sake. Just try to love me for who I am…_

_ Toki_

[]

He found the letter slipped under his door later that evening. Nathan hardly noticed it, but heard the apparent crunching noise after accidentally stepping on it on his way in. It was creased neatly down the middle and addressed in a sloppy handwriting on the outside to him. His name was at the top of the sheet on the inside to, and at the bottom was signed Toki in a feminine cursive. Nathan found himself reading it time and time again, staring deeper into the inked words and spiked letters.

_Love turns to lust so quickly in this dying world. _Toki was absolutely right. Nathan himself was almost positive he felt something for the little Norwegian, whether it be love or lust. To him, it had always been the same thing. The groupies, the fangirls…they never wanted anything more than a one-night-stand with him, and when they were done, they usually gave him a final kiss and ran away. He longed for something meaningful, something real.

But no, Toki had addressed that issue head-on as well; _I wasn't lying when I told you yesterday that I wasn't gay…it's under strange conditions that I find myself so drawn to you. It's indescribable, unbreakable even. _They shared a strange bond. Neither was gay, yet both loved each other with a passion that was exactly how Toki had put in: _Indescribable, unbreakable even._

So what to do? Nathan walked out of his room and down the hall to Toki's room. He knocked uncertainly, and immediately responded the little Norwegian's cheerful "Comes in!"

"Hey, Toki," mumbled the singer, fingers still tightly clutching the letter. The smile quickly disappeared from his face when he noticed Nathan's grimace.

"What's wrongs, Na'tans?" the rhythm guitarist bit his lip and sat on the bed, completely abandoning his model airplane.

He couldn't help but stare down at his little brother with a sort of affection and admiration, despite the fact that it was horribly un-metal. Clearly, beneath his fluffy exterior, Toki had a lot of courage and strength. Nathan knew that he himself could never sit down and write a letter describing his feelings. Most of the time, he didn't feel much anyway. But the pressure of the upcoming deal piled on top with Toki's love made him feel overwhelmed.

"What's wrongs?" Toki repeated cautiously, standing with a look of deep concern in his eyes. "I sees you gots my letters."

"Yeah I, uh, I read it and everything."

"Ands?"

"And…" Nathan shrugged. "I don't know. I don't feel, uh, different, if that's what you mean."

"Does you loves me?" Toki gazed up at him again, once again having his icy eyes clashing against deep green ones. Nathan knew he would eventually ask this question, but he still had no idea how to respond.

"I…I, uh, Toki, I have no idea." Toki smiled in spite of himself and playfully thrust the frontman on the bed. Nathan looked up at him in surprise. A slow, cruel grin spread across the Norwegian's delicate features as he crawled on top of him and forcefully pressed his body against his.

"Shhh," Toki murmured as Nathan began to protest. He gently bit his shoulder and pushed him down.

"Toki – "

"Shhh!"

"Toki, your, uh, bed. It's too small. Let's go to my…uh, room." Toki agreed unwillingly and untangled himself from Nathan's body.

Once they were in Nathan's bedroom, the singer took the incentive and lowered Toki onto the large bed. Toki snarled and pulled him down on top of him with a sort of strength Nathan wasn't accustomed to.

"Brutal," the frontman growled through Toki's shower of kisses.

The pair continued to tangle themselves together until they became a sweaty knot. Toki ripped his shirt off and began unbuttoning his pants. Nathan watched with a bemused smile, the grin growing until Toki lay completely naked next to him. Only then did he himself remove his clothing and begin showing Toki how much he _could _love him.

[]

"What ams they doings?" asked Skwisgaar, pacing rapidly across the width of the living room. Murderface merely grunted in reply and swiped the blade of his knife against his arm, threatening a streak of red to become liquid. Pickles was stretched across his chair with his legs dangling over the arms. He shrugged at Skwisgaar.

"Dude, dey're grown men. Dey can handle demselves. Besides, we pramised – "

"Ja, I knows! We promised nots to gets involveds in each other's lifes! I was beings there, Pickle!"

"Den stap worryin'. Na'an might be aff writin' lyrics and shit. Toki…he's pry doin' whatever the fuck Toki does."

"Maybe they're doing shomthing together…without ush." Murderface, as usual, was quick to look at the worst possibility, and the worst thing to him was being excluded.

It was right about then that Nathan emerged from his bedroom; he was shirtless and sweating. Skwisgaar, Pickles, and Murderface gawked at him.

"What'sh wrong with you?" asked Murderface with an almost hurt tone. He turned away and began stabbing the side of the couch.

"Yeah, dude? What the fuck?" Pickles stared at him. The singer seemed…vulnerable. He was far too jumpy and over-excited, yet when he went to speak, the band found that he'd lost his voice.

"Well, that's greats," sighed Skwisgaar, rolling his eyes. "We can'ts nots be recordings now. Pfft…whatsevers."

The lead guitarist was thinking. It was a rare occasion for him to actually sit down and think, but he had a fairly good idea of what was going on. It was only so long until he would find out for sure.


	4. A Display of Love

Skwisgaar silently contemplated all of the facts. Nathan and Toki were consistently sitting next to each other at every meal, generally disappeared at the same time, and often glanced at each other and smiled quickly before anyone else could see. It was obvious, even though Murderface and Pickles didn't see it; Nathan and Toki were gay together.

Not that Skwisgaar protested, per se. He himself had tested out all sorts of strange things before joining Dethklok including homosexuality. It hadn't suited him, but there was something strange about it being two of the people he spent most of his time with. It felt wrong, dangerous even. Perhaps that was why he found himself curious about the whole situation. What was going through their heads?

[]

Nathan had no idea what was going through his head when he seductively beckoned Toki into his room. It had been a few weeks since their first encounter, and over the weeks they'd grown a strange bond. They'd gone to bed separate and woken up next to each other several times over the weeks, but never once had Nathan actually _invited _him to spend the night with him. It felt awkward. He felt sticky with perspiration, heated and passionate. Toki immediately obeyed and sneaked into his room undetected.

"Na'tans?" Toki asked, looking up at him innocently. "Is we goings to be doings it tonights?"

"Uh, maybe." Nathan swiftly turned away from the little Norwegian to hide his blushing. There was something so…adorable about the way Toki referred to sex. "But maybe we could just, you know, talk."

"Talkings ams goods with me!" Toki exclaimed with a cheerful smile. He plopped himself on the edge of Nathan's large bed. "What's you wants to be talkings abouts?"

"Uh…how'd you get that mustache?"

Toki cocked his head slightly to the side. "Mustache? I grows it slowly…to be's rebellings against mine parents."

"Yeah it's, uh, different." The conversation dropped short and they both sat in an uncomfortable silence. Toki crossed his right leg over his left.

"Why's you gots hair in your face?"

Nathan growled. "It's metal. I've always _been _metal. I always _will be _metal."

"Okays, okays. Wowee, it's hots in here…" Toki quickly removed his shirt and revealed his prominent muscle tone. He kicked off his boots as well and relaxed into the cozy bed. Nathan stared down at his lover's body lustfully, then pulled off his own shirt and frowned unhappily at his beer gut.

"Hey, Toki." The guitarist bolted upright and stared at Nathan. "I got something, uh, fun for us to do."

"What's that?" asked Toki, purring seductively.

Nathan took a large swig of beer before replying, "Let me show you the most brutal book ever."

[]

Skwisgaar wasn't sure what to think. On one hand, he absolutely knew the Toki and Nathan were _together _but he had no way at all to prove it. But did it really matter? So what if that was their personal and sexual preference? Was it any of his business? Why did he care? It was against the rules to care anyway.

"Dude, whatcha doin?" Skwisgaar jumped at stared up at Pickles – who was standing in comparison to his own sitting.

"I ams just thinks-kings, that is alls." The guitarist wasn't in the mood for small talk with the drummer, but Pickles took a seat across from him at the dinner table anyway. Dinner wouldn't be served for another hour or so, but the bustle of the kitchen could be heard in the background.

"Bout what?" Pickles pressed, leaning forward.

"Abouts things!" Skwisgaar exclaimed. "Damns you Pickle, leaves me bes!"

"Dude," Pickles responded with an eye roll. "Just bein' friendly. We _do _live together, ya know?"

"Ja, I be knowings that, thanks for that." Skwisgaar hesitated. "It's Toki. And Na'tans. They is acts-king weirds."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed dat too." Pickles looked around. "I actually just saw Na'an call Toki inta his room…like, ya know, weirdly."

Skwisgaar raised his blonde eyebrows. Solid proof of their relationship. "You thinks…?"

"No!" Pickles reclined back with a lazy loll. "Nate's nat gay! I just think dey're ya know, messin' with Murderface."

"What?"

"Murderface…he hates gays," Pickles reminded him. "I've messed with him bout it. It's funny. He gets so worked up!"

"So they ams…not gay? Just playings the pranks?"

"Dat's what I think, dude. Course," he added with a smirk, "dat's why I'm able to sleep at night. I couldn't if I actually thought dat dey…"

"Oh." Skwisgaar was still confused, and he had even fewer answers than before. Was it all a joke? Or were they really together?

[]

"_Dante's Inferns-o?" _Toki asked incredulously. "What ams that?"

"It's exactly what I, uh, said it was." Nathan grinned proudly. "It's the most brutal book in the world. Here, I'll show you." He flipped through several pages before pausing and reading, _"These miscreants, who never were alive, were naked, and were stung exceedingly by gadflies and by hornets that were there. These did their face irrigate with blood, which, with their tears commingled, at their feet by the disgusting worms was gathered up."_

"Wowee!" Toki gasped, thinking on the brutal words.

"I know!" Nathan smiled at Toki's reaction. "It's one of my favorites."

"I wants to reads it," Toki demanded resolutely.

"Hold on there, uh, Toki. You can't just read it. You can hardly _speak _English, let alone read, uh, this complicated text."

"Then…reads it to me!"

"Maybe later," Nathan consented. He gently took Toki's hand and lead him back to his room.

"Waits," Toki stopped him. They were both in Nathan's room, completely alone. The guitarist sighed contentedly and looked up at the singer happily. "I wants to tries somethings."

"Okay," Nathan allowed cautiously. He began to cringe when Toki got on his knees and stared determinedly at Nathan's groin. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Skwisgaar tells me bouts this things called nosebleeds. He says it's nicest thing ladies ever dones for him." Toki began panting. "So, I does it for you. You means lots to me, Na'tans. I thinks…I thinks I loves you."

"Oh, uh, Toki…you don't mean…?" Nathan knew exactly what he meant when Toki began unbuttoning the bigger man's pants and pulled them down around his ankles. His lips began prodding in an uncomfortable place.

"Dette er riktig…jeg bare vet det…" Toki muttered with a mouthful.

"You don't have to…oh…" Nathan felt himself warming and sweating. After a moment, though, he pushed Toki away and pulled his pants back up. Toki frowned.

"I does somethings wrong, ja?" Nathan saw a tear form on Toki's lower eyelid. It found a trail down his pale cheek until the frontman interrupted it's path. He wiped the tear away gently.

"No. Not at all, Toki. I just don't want…I don't want our, uh, relationship…I don't want it to be based on sex. You mean…Toki, you mean too much to waste. Just go to bed alone tonight. I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast."

Toki managed a small smile before disappearing. Immediately after he was gone, Nathan relaxed onto his bed – alone. He couldn't believe the Norwegian had such incentive. It had been completely _his _idea, Nathan hadn't even prodded it out of him. It was strange – Toki was so innocent, even referring to the act as a "nosebleed," yet he was the provocative one in the relationship. He almost had the prowess of Skwisgaar. Everything seemed wrong with it, yet so perfect.

Nathan poured himself a glass of brandy and allowed himself to slip into a coma-like sleep for the first time in a long time.

_**A/N**_

_**Okay, the Norwegian that Toki said was "It's right...I just know it." I figured you guys would want to know. Anyway, I'm thinking I won't get anymore slashy than that right there, although I may go up to this point again. Hope you're enjoying it as much as me! :) ~Sanathia**_


	5. Affirmation

_"Midway upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightforward pathway had been lost. Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say what was this forest savage, rough, and stern, which in the very thought renews the fear. So bitter is it, death is little more; but of the good to treat, which there I found, speak will I of the other things I saw there."_

Toki stared at Nathan's mouth as he spoke the words of the ancient book. As promised, the singer began reading the book to him the next morning. Every line seemed to hold poetry in itself, yet flowed together as a river into the mouth of the ocean. The story was enchanting and dark, both Toki and Nathan were sucked into the Dante's world.

Toki laid in his bed in his worn _Explode Me _shirt, his hair falling in luscious tresses over his shoulders. The boy's eyes were wide at the beautiful words pouring from the book, his mouth slightly agape while imagining it all. Nathan noticed all of this, causing he himself to chuckle as he continued to read.

_"I cannot well repeat how there I entered, so full was I of slumber at the moment in which I had abandoned the true way. But after I had reached a mountain's foot, at that point where the valley terminated, which had with consternation pierced my heart, upward I looked, and I beheld its shoulders, vested already with that planet's rays which leadeth others right by every road."_

"What ams 'cons-ker-ation'?" asked Toki quietly, his intense whisper contrasting Nathan's loud reciting.

"Uh…worry, I think. Nervousness, maybe. Hey, I was wondering something." Nathan set the book aside and slid onto Toki's bed next to him. "Remember that first _real _conversation we had? Right in this very room?"

"Ja, how coulds I be forgetsing?" Toki smiled playfully and pushed his lover's collarbone gently. "You walkeds in right after mines fights with Skwisgaar."

"Uh, yeah. I think. Anyway, I heard you, uh, singing that day. Could I, you know…hear you sing again?"

Toki considered for a moment, then nodded. "I sings, but only for you, Na'tans. What's you wantings to hears?"

"Anything."

"Well…" Toki thought for another minute. "There was one songs that first mades me gots to plays the guitars."

"What was that?"

The Norwegian picked up his guitar and began singing and playing. At first, Nathan didn't recognize it. _"You dies as you lives in the flash of the blades, in corners forgottens away! You lives for the touch, for the feels of the steels…one mans and his honors…"_

"Iron Maiden," Nathan responded after Toki had completely finished. "Brutal. You know, with a little, uh, practice you'd be way better than that dildo Skwisgaar."

"Nei, Na'tans. I don'ts pracstice no mores."

"Why not? Dethklok is one kick-ass band, why not make it better?"

"I just don'ts. Lots of stress, ja?" Toki shrugged. "I does whats I must and no mores than thats."

"I'm not gonna argue here," Nathan said with a growl. "Let's just, uh, well what do you wanna do?"

"Well." Toki bit his lip. "There ams one things I wants to do, since I joins Dethklok and finds big kitchen…"

Nathan waited. "And that is…?"

The guitarist wriggled excitedly and set his guitar gently to the side. Then he fidgeted a bit more until wrapping his arms around Nathan and whispering, "I wants to bakes a cakes!"

"Oh shit," muttered Nathan before obliging Toki.

[]

It was about midnight when Skwisgaar woke up to the sounds of the kitchen. What was the newest chef up to at this time of night? After a few minutes of non-stop noise, he knew he couldn't sleep, so Skwisgaar rolled out of his bed to see what was going on.

"What amnest you doings now, dildos chef?" asked the Swede, rubbing the sand from his eyes. When he was finally able to see, it wasn't a chef he saw, it was Nathan Explosion in only his jeans and boots, and Toki Wartooth in nothing but his underwear, boots, and a black fangirl _Explode Me _t-shirt. Nothing could wipe the grin from Skwisgaar's face as he exclaimed, "I knews it! I always knews it!"

"Knew what?" asked Nathan innocently, dumping cake mix in a bowl. "I was just, uh, teaching Toki here how to bake a cake."

"Ats midnights?" asked Skwisgaar dubiously, placing a hand on his bare hip. In all the commotion, he'd forgotten to get completely dressed; he wore only a towel covering the lower section of his body.

"Yeah, well, neither of us could sleep." Nathan shrugged as Toki cracked the eggs into the batter.

"Don'ts thinks I don'ts knows what ams goings on around here!" Skwisgaar shouted, pointing a skinny finger at them. "The hands-holdings, the cakes-bakes-kings…" The guitarist balled his hands into fists and marched back to his room. He still couldn't prove anything, but his knowledge only increased.

[]

The cake was finished in just under an hour, and that was exactly when Toki decided it was time to share his feelings. It seemed as though everything had changed since the note, his feelings had altered. He was more unsure of his sexual preference, not sure if Nathan was "the only exception."

"Uh, Na'tans?" started Toki timidly, wringing his hands silently under the table.

"Yeah?"

"What does you feels…for me?" Toki bit his lip and waited.

"Oh, uh…" Nathan scratched the back of his neck and looked around for answers. "Fuck."

Toki merely raised his eyebrow.

"I mean, uhh…you're like my best friend. My little brother."

"Except mores."

"Well, yeah. I mean we do other stuff but…"

"Does you loves me?"

Nathan breathed out of a gust of air and looked down, unsure of what to say. Toki waited patiently. "Toki, I, uh…I still don't know."

The Norwegian breathed out. "That's fines. At least you lets me be nears you."

"Of course. Wait, I hear someone."

The doors burst open to reveal a grumpy Murderface, complete with disturbingly short robe and knife. "Sho, I shee you deshided to bake a cake without Murderfashe, huh?"

"Well, ja…I guess," mumbled Toki.

"It'sh caushe I'm fat, right?" accused the angry drunk, waving the knife at them. "Thought I didn't need any cake, huh? Well, I got two wordsh for you fuckersh! Pish on you!"

"Murderface, that's three…nevermind." Nathan massaged his temples gingerly. "Could you go get Ofdensen? I need to see him."

"Go get him yourshelf!"

"Alright, I'll –"

"I'll gets him," said Toki, accepting the call of duty. "I be rights backs."

Murderface spit in their general direction before marching back to bed. Toki followed swiftly, and returned in a few short moments with a tired-looking Ofdensen.

"Alright, Nathan. I'm here what do you, ah, need?" He yawned.

"I need counseling," Nathan growled.

"Well, I know a great therapist named Dr. Twinkletits and – "

"Not therapy, dildo. Counseling. Me and Toki."

Toki looked up, stunned. "Wait, what's? I don'ts needs therapies…"

"Alright boys, what do you need?" Ofdensen took a seat next to Nathan across from Toki. "You guys fighting, having issues?"

"No!" Nathan cried at the same time Toki responded, "Nei!"

"Then, what's the problem here?" The manager sighed, pushing his glasses into place.

"We're, uh, together, Ofdensen."

The CFO gasped slightly. "Boys, I don't know what's going on here, but I don't want to. Don't get too graphic with me here."

"We…I just need to know what I'm feeling," Nathan clarified, glaring at the table because of the unbrutality of the statement.

Ofdensen, Toki, and Nathan spent the next hour discussing several topics concerning the relationship, but with no luck. Ofdensen wasn't a counselor, nor was he a therapist, so he had no idea how to help. At the end, all he could say was "Good luck with all of this, boys," before disappearing into his office at the rise of the dawn.

[]

"Jeg elsker deg," Toki whispered into Nathan's ear just as they were about to depart. During the day, they kept to themselves for the most part. "It ams meanings 'I loves you' in Norwegian!"

Just as Toki turned to walk away, Nathan pulled him around by his shoulder. "Toki, wait," he said. He bit his lip uncomfortably. "I might love you, too."

"What?" asked Toki, astonished.

"I love the way you bite your lip when you're nervous, I love how I can stay up late talking about absolutely nothing with you. I love how easy it is to be around you, I love how you'd do anything for me, even give me a 'nosebleed.' To me, that's love. Toki, I think you may be the best thing in my life so, I think I love you." The words came gushing from his mouth like a fountain. The guitarist pressed his lips against the singer's.

"Na'tans, I wants to bes with you forevers. To me, that ams loves. I will be seeings to tomorrows," he finished with a breath before disappearing again.

_**A/N**_

___**Okay, I figured it was worth putting that the words from this and the last chapter are from The Divine Comedy by Dante. Also, the lyrics towards the beginning are from Iron Maiden's Flash of the Blade. Actually, I was listening to the Avenged Sevenfold version as I wrote this. One chapter left, okay? Hope you've been liking it! ~ Sanathia**_


	6. The Perfect End

_"We mounted up, he first and I the second, till I beheld through a round aperture some of the beauteous things that Heaven doth bear; then we came forth to rebehold the stars." _Nathan shut the book with the dull thud. "And that's it."

"That can'ts be its," sighed Toki. "What happens to with Beatrice the angels? And Dante's journeys?"

"Dude, that's literally it. The book is done." Nathan leaned to his left and onto Toki's shoulder. They'd become a bit more affectionate in their love since it'd been admitted from both sides; Toki seemed much happier, plus he longed for Nathan to be touching him at all times.

"Terris-bles endings."

"Yeah, well," Nathan muttered. "What do you expect from a dead guy?"

"Ja, I guess. Well, anyways, what's now?" The little Norwegian gazed up at him, eyes mirroring a river recently melted from its frozen oblivion. He seemed to be hinting at something, but Nathan pretended not to notice. Everything in their relationship still felt strange to him, especially the aspect of sex. They were two men! It felt wrong.

Yet…at the same time, it seemed the only logical thing. Yes, they were both men. Wouldn't they understand each other's feelings more? It was so different than anything else the frontman had encountered.

"I don't know." Nathan looked away, and Toki leaned his head on his stomach.

"I does," he said quietly, beginning to tickles the singer's belly gently.

"No, don't you – damn it, Toki." The frontman giggled uncontrollably, triggering a knock on the door. The couple became immediately silent. Nathan cautiously stood and put his pants on, then gestured for his lover to hide under the covers – Toki did so willingly. When he opened the door, Skwisgaar's smirking face was revealed. Nathan sighed.

"I knows your secrets," Skwisgaar whispered, and for Nathan, time slowed down.

He could hear his own breathing pounding in his ears like gunshots, his heartbeat like a cannon. He could tell that backwards to his right was a hiding Toki, who was attempting to quiet the sound of his own breathing. The singer could also tell that Skwisgaar's distinct confidence was missing, he faltered around for words. Everything was so wrong.

"My…uh, secret?" Nathan leaned against the threshold as time resumed to its normal pace. "What secret?" he tried to ask casually.

"You and that dildos – Toki! You and hims has the sleepings togethers, ja? Ja." Skwisgaar shifted uncomfortably, another fault in his act.

"You, uh, you don't know a thing."

"I knows everythings. I hears it alls, the conser-vations, the holdings of hands."

"And if you tell anyone," replied Nathan coolly, feeling surprisingly smooth and confident, "then you'll die. Ofdensen is great at, uh, arranging that sort of thing. You know it yourself. You hardly give a thought about how he got rid of your pregnant suitor. It's easy for him to make it look like an accident."

Skwisgaar paled. "But…I ams the leads guitarists! He can'ts be gettings rids of me!"

"If it affects Dethklok, I guess he, uh, can. Toki's almost as good as you anyway. But seriously, I'll make sure you die. Painfully."

Skwisgaar backed away. "I knows nothings, Na'tans. Nothings." He disappeared into his room down the corridor aways. Nathan nodded, then turned to Toki, who was smiling brutally. He'd heard it all.

"You be killings Skwisgaars?" Toki seemed gleeful at the idea.

"No. Not if we don't have to. Besides, we have, uh, business to attend to." Nathan pounced onto the bed and rolled Toki over roughly.

"Waits, waits, Na'tans." The guitarist rolled back over, ignoring Nathan's hot, annoyed breath in his face. "You too forwards. Try somes of this." Toki kissed the frontman's lips tenderly, then pushed his tongue past his lips, exploring Nathan's mouth.

Nathan pulled back. "Guess I am breakable, huh?"

"What's you means?"

"I always thought I was unbreakable," Nathan explained. "Brutal. Incapable of feelings, or love, or anything. But…you proved me wrong. I guess I always loved you, but I wasn't willing to, uh, admit it. I guess."

"You guess a lots." Toki smirked. "Me? I knows. I knows that I always loves you, I knows that I ams breaks-able."

"And…that's okay?"

"Being breaks-able ams metal, Na'tans," Toki taunted gently. "Just admits it." He pressed his lips back up against Nathan's, then slid his hands all around the singer's pudgy body. There was hard muscle beneath it all, but he was a large man above it all with a layer of fat as well.

"Maybe." Nathan pushed his hands down the front of Toki's pants and stroked around gently. The guitarist shivered lightly and turned over, unbuttoning his pants and egging Nathan on.

"Damn, Toki." They both grinned. "This is going to be a long, fun night."

[]

Skwisgaar heard it all, but pretended not to hear. Even the sounds of his guitar plugged into the amp couldn't drown out the disturbing noises. He could hear the high pitched giggles and cries of Toki, the low growls of Nathan. None of it was pleasant.

But what could he do? He couldn't say a word or Nathan would have him killed. And Ofdensen was known for listening to the singer despite all drunkenness or unreasonable request. The manager would quickly and easily dispose of Skwisgaar. And the guitarist knew it.

He had to leave his room; he couldn't take hearing the sex anymore. He abandoned his guitar and escaped to the living room, where Pickles and Murderface were getting quite drunk. Perhaps he could join them. It would definitely be a step up from the former.

"Hey, Pickle."

"Hey, Skwisgaar," Pickles replied cheerfully. Murderface continued to sulk.

"What ams you be doings?" he struggled.

"Drinkin' a little, eh, vadka, I think…" Pickles shook his head. "Whiskey. Want some?"

"Okays." Normally, Skwisgaar wouldn't go any lower than vodka, but any alcohol sounded perfect to him at that moment. "Shoots me ups."

"Dude, calm down." The drummer grinned. "Plenty fer da rest of da night."

And a long night it would be, for Pickles and Skwisgaar with their drinking, and for Nathan and Toki with their shenanigans.

[]

Toki rubbed his lips gently around Nathan's tender area, then stopped. He was such a tease. The frontman knew that was his favorite way to end the night, with a "nosebleed." He'd completed a better one before, but generally left off with a beginning-type move, then sneaking out. This time, though, he merely backed away and stared at Nathan.

"What?" Nathan felt self-conscious – he was lying completely naked on the bed with nothing to cover him.

"Nothings. You just so perfects."

The singer rolled his eyes. "Yeah right."

"Nei, you really ams. I feels real lucky. Wowee, I almost misseds outs on this."

"Well, the perfect end to the perfect night. Tomorrow is the big concert."

"Ja, I knows. I thinks you calms my nerves though." Toki winked. "I hopes that this never changes…"

"It will," Nathan muttered. "Things can't stay perfect forever."

"Guess nots."

Nathan was silent for a while, alternating breathing out of his nose and his mouth. Then he abruptly leaned forward and kissed Toki, feeling a certain limb of his quiver.

"Here we goes agains," Toki growled happily.

_**A/N**_

_**Aaaand...that's the end! Don't forget to review, because I want to improve :) Also, read my other works! Love you! ~ Sanathia**_


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